Unholy Visits Lead to Troubles
by reality deviant
Summary: Kirigaya Kazuto was at the wrong place at the wrong time-or was it at the right place at the right time? A random chance, and the Black Swordsman meets devils. Asuna has to remind that she does not approve of harems, Suguha's mind is blown and Kirito swears he didn't mean do it.


"Will that be all, sir?" The cashier at the convenience store asked.

she was a short young woman, wearing standard green shirt and black jacket with a matching green cap.

I nodded, paying for my purchase, and she bowed with a cheerful 'please come again!'

It wasn't an uncommon scene, just like the store itself was a one among many others, a standard issue convenience store, which just happened to be near my house. After SAO though, it felt almost like an _alien_ environment though.

Shaking my head to dismiss the useless thoughts, I checked my purchases:

Green tea for Sugu, coffee for mom-who was like the pretty sister of the zombie type mobs until she drank her first coffee cup of the morning, and instant noodles for me.

I really missed Asuna's cooking, still miss it, but she should be still regaining her strength now, not cooking, not yet, at least.

Knowing that did not help me face the disappointment. Neither made the convenience store bought food magically taste like Asuna's cooking, which was a pity, but at least I felt vindicated in my complaints…

Lost in my musings as I was, I barely registering that the burly guy at the crossroads was giving leaflets until he gave one to me, which I pocketed without a second glance as the lights turned green.

And after two blocks worth of walk, I finally pushed the door of my home open. "Sugu, I'm home…"

It was a bit surprising to hear no response, though likely to happen if she was at the dojo running one of her drills. Or so I thought, until I entered the kitchen, and saw the note on the fridge.

Apparently she would only be home a little later than usual today. The note mentioned an errand, but not details. It wasn't like her, but maybe it was a last minute thing.

Opening a juice carton and putting the instant ramen to boil, I brought my tablet and checked the net for any manga updates. The type best read in the privacy of my room, when neither Sugu nor mom would barge into my room unannounced…

It may be full of ecchi scenes; But I don't read it for that! I read it for the plot! The author actually has a good and engaging story going!

The timer chimed zero just as I reached the end of the current chapter, and I moved to sift the ramen and add seasonings. Not before I put the next chapter to load though.

Seasonings and toppings done, I served a generous portion onto my plate, and poured myself another glass of juice sipping from it as I sat and grabbed the tablet.

Then I choked coughing and hitting my sleeve and arm on the tomato sauce and spilling grape juice all over myself! What the? How did? Why even?

What kind of plot twist is _THAT_! You don't just drop something like that without a little bit of foreshad- no, there were hints-

But that didn't made me any happier at having my shirt stained of red and purple.

And it was a new shirt too. Better put it to wash quickly or the stains might be permanent. Mom will never let me hear the end of it!

Such misfortune!

Hastily finishing my meal and my reading, I went into the bathroom to take a shower, taking my shirt and pants and dumping them into the washing machine, setting the device to the heaviest cycle available in hopes it clean better, I walked into the washing area and went about my business.

And in the middle of washing, slipped and fell on my butt, a burst of pain spring forth from my right ankle. I could not hold back or muffle the yell, the pain was too sudden and unexpected, and it echoed into the bathroom.

I tried to move the foot experimentally, and ended up yelping in pain again. It really hurts!

Great, I think I twisted my ankle. I just hope it doesn't swell- or that it isn't broken!

Miserable, buck naked and literally stuck in a painful position, I could do nothing but curse and wish for help, for Mom and Sugu to arrive just a bit earlier, or maybe...

"I really wish someone was here now, to help me…"

XxXxX

I didn't know it at the time, but that leaflet was more than just a esoteric themed ad. "All your wishes will come true" was literal, and the paper itself was magic. Knowing that would saved me from so much trouble...

From where I was, still on the tiled floor, I couldn't see the purplish glow, from my pants pocket.

"Ara, not what I was expecting..." A voice called behind me, and I twisted my body, my injured ankle protesting against the motion and bringing a hiss of pain..

And though it wasn't a dream, a girl was standing there, as if she appeared out of nowhere, as if by magic.

She was beautiful, with a voluptuous figure that seemed to almost burst from that fetish-like uniform of hers. The skirt was short, showcasing her smooth legs and just long enough that it didn't flashed me her panties, and the corset-like jacket emphasized a bountiful bust that didn't need such emphasis at all! Very long black hair collected into a ponytail swayed left to right then back with the shaking for her head, a mischievous smile that promised more trouble then Argo at her worst completely at odds with the exasperated tone she spoke that single line.

"Usually I don't take on _those_ kinds of contracts, but I admit, the view is not bad…" and looked at me, no, at certain parts of me in amusement covering that smile with a hand demurely.

What did she mea- and then I remembered that I was still naked. 'Your actions are completely contradicting what you say, woman!' I covered myself with all due haste despite my mind wanting to scream at her not to look, or to point that gaze away from me.

Yet, all I could do was shift a bit, then cry in anguish, as the mere attempt of moving was enough to turn the dull ache of my ankle into red hot spikes of pain.

At least she closed her eyes, but instead of empathy or shame, her expression- I shivered, as her smile showed satisfaction, like that of a predator, or maybe of the...sexual kind. And with my foot injured, and my hands protecting the last shreds of my modesty I couldn't even _run_ away...

"My ankle, I think I twisted it." I bit the bullet and asked. A good person would at least help when asked, right? "Can you help me stand?"

"Oh, is that all?" She asked, visibly... disappointed? Still, she approached, and picked me up, way too easily, proceeding to carry me bridal style.

I know that i was still malnourished, having been released from SAO and hospital only recently, but still!

The girl brought me to my room, placing me on the bed gently, and I used the opportunity to cover myself with a blanket, not removing the last hand from my- when I was properly cocooned in cloths and my modesty assured.

"Ara, does it make you uncomfortable, to be naked with me here?" She asked in a demure, sweet tone, her voice almost breathy. "I can help with that." I nodded hesitantly, and the mysterious girl undid her top button of her blaser. My eyes widened, almost as if to pop from their sockets, but my voice failed me, as she proceeded to undo the one below it, smiling at me all the while.

She had gotten as far as the third one before I found my voice. "I'd rather you don't." I deadpanned. She was teasing me. And panicking would just make her want to tease me more, I just know it.

"Don't worry, this Onee-sama will teach you all about girls...", She said, her voice a throaty purr that send me into shivers from the sheer sexual allure it exuded. And as if that wasn't enough, she leaned forward, placing her hands on both of my sides, completely disregarding my personal space, licking her lips as if I was a tasty treat to be tasted., "...and how nice they can feel, or _make_ you feel..."

"I refuse! I already have a girlfriend!" I'd have raised my arms into an X shape for emphasis, but attempting to do so with her this close would probably hurt her, and she did help me get here-

Her chuckles interrupted my musings on whether she was a good person or not and I wanted to back off, injured foot to be damned, when I saw the sheer _glee_ in her eyes at the mention of Asuna.

And then I saw from even closer as she crawled into the bed and atop me and my breath sped up in panic. 'Close! you are too close!' Yet my voice failed me again.

At least until her leg touched my aching ankle, and I screamed in pain.

She jumped away from the bed with speed and agility akin to what I expected from Asuna the 'flash' on the battlefields of SAO, suddenly at side of the bed bout the height of where I was clutching my injured foot and moaning in pain.

"Are you ok?" She asked, and for the first time, I heard and seen an actual concern in her voice as she gingerly touched my ankle.

"You almost stepped on my ankle, what do you think!?" The angry words came out from my mouth before I knew, despite of her concerns. Of course I'm not okay! Two years inside SAO left me too unused to pain, and an injury like this-!

As if to prove Murphy was right, I heard the front door of the house opening in the floor below, followed by the unmistakable sounds of someone entering and removing their shoes. My gaze snapped to hers 'Hide', I mouthed. "Kazuto, I'm back", my sister cheerfully called, her stepps sounding as loud as my heart as she came up the stairs "And I have a surprise for-" And my yet unnamed guest hadn't moved an inch from her spot.

"-you." My sister weakly finished, as her eyes met the girl, whose shirt was still unbuttoned way below appropriate, then snapped to me half covered, half exposed under that blanket, and still wet from the bath and jaw went slack.

'So that's what it looks like, to have your voice fail you, from the outside.' My brain remarked.

Even someone as socially dense as myself could see the moment where her brain reached the obvious, yet still completely wrong, conclusion.

And just as I was about to explain that to her, to utter those forbidden words - "It's not what it looks like!' - that would do nothing to help, 'Mystery Girl' opened her mouth. "Darling, you didn't tell me your girlfriend would return so early!" She brought a hand to cover her lips and her eyes went wide, yet the words were said with too much cheer for the surprise to be genuine. On the other side of the room, Sugu still had her mouth open as she stared at 'Onee-sama', but also had a twitch on her left cheek now the iminent explosion nearing with each passing second.

"T-thats my sister!" Was all I could say in my defense that wouldn't make me sound like a harem protagonist.

"Oh?!" Her wide, yet twinkling eyes turned to me, and she said from behind that hand of hers. "Into that forbidden fruit, are you? So naughty!" she said, shuddering…"I approve! I approve wholeheartedly!"

Sugu took a step back as if she was punched, eyes going even wide and face turning crimson and I was hardly better myself after hearing those words, my cheeks feeling as if they were on fire.

And then, Sugu's incoherent sputtering ceased, as she squared her shoulders and glared angrily at me. "Onii-chan! Why'd- Why'd you- have such a- such a _Succubus_ when you already have Asuna-san!"

'If I had any answer to that, other than the standard romcom denials, I'd have said already. But I don't even know what she was doing in our home, in our bath!'

"My, my, I'm flattered I make a girl think of me as one of _them_ , but I'm a different kind of devil, fufufu."

What, so now you admit you are a demon, woman?

"But if I was a real succubus, I would have been enjoying a delicious family sandwich right now." The way she said it, the way she once more licked her lips, and the throaty, sensual voice she said it, made no secret that she was still considering it.

Sugu sputtered 'I'm not mentally prepared yet!' and this time the surprise in the girl's eyes was genuine.

And I did that which was forbidden: I wondered how could the day get any worse.

"Soo, do you have an explanation... _Kirito-kun_?" _Another_ familiar voice, one that sent shivers down my spine, called in a sweet tone. I should have known better then to tempt fate by now, shouldn't I?

"Er, Asuna- what a surprise to see you-" Dear gods, kill me now, before the angel of death gets to me...

"Well, I was certainly surprised,..." Asuna was smiling sweetly, but her eyes held only murderous intent. Nevermind, it is too late, she already has my fate decided.

"So _you_ are the Girlfriend? I was just helping your boy relieve some stress." The home invader said in fake innocence.

"Don't say something so misleading!"

"-From his foot."

Both Asuna and Sugu turned to look at my foot as one and I hoped they would underst- Then my sister crushed those hopes utterly muttering about she didn't knew I had a 'foot fetish'.

"And why are you undressed?" Asuna at least asked a serious question, even I'd rather she hadn't.

"Why I thought bathing was supposed to be done in the nude?" The big busted seductress said, as if it was obvious.

Having reached critical point, burst in all it's destructive fury. "Just who are you, you succubus? And what are you doing here?" She asked- no, demanded, shoulders raised as the hackles of a angry cat.

"Actually, as I already said, I'm a devil, my dear." The succu-demon said almost seductively, and batlike wings appeared from her back. Sugu just crossed her arms impatiently before the devil seductress continued: "Your boy wished for attention. Why, after a bit of coaxing, it was obvious even to me what he _truly_ wanted and why!" the d-Devil girl continued, despite our shock seeing her impossible display of sprouting wings out of nowhere- though maybe with a few servos, they could be elaborate fakes.

"It's not, aahh, healthy to surround a teenager with many beautiful girls- hnn!" She moaned and bit her lower lip at Sugu's probing touch of her left the wing, both twitching in time with the erotic sound.

"Kirito-kun... you know what I think of harems…" Asuna sing-sang in a saccharin sweet tone.

"Don't give me that, ojou-chan." She directed at Asuna, this time disregarding the visible shivering of pleasure running through her body- And Sugu finally noticed it was her fault, letting go of the black colored appendages as if they suddenly caught fire. "He has the feelings of lust from many girls, all over him. It's unfair to have him surrounded by beauties and then tell him to choose one!"

"It's not like that at all!" How, how is that she arrived at that without me saying a word- Is that some sort of succ-demo- _devilish_ power? "Asuna, listen, I was bathing, I slipped on wet floor and fell, twisting my ankle, and then she appeared out of nowhere and helped me get out of the floor and here, then you arrived! Nothing happened!"

"Why yes, they got here before anything could!" The devilish seductress said disappointed, pressing a hand to her cheek.

"Nothing would have happened either!" I reiterated.

"Im hurt, after such powerful longing, such pure desires and heartfelt cries, you now deny me!?" I twitched at each one of her words, before I remembered some lore saying devils had a way with words to twist things you said into whatever they wanted it to mean.

Maybe it is my fault? Though I'm faithful to Asuna, maybe those deep buried, improper desires towards everyone weren't as forgotten as they should, and that brought heaven's wrath on my head…

Devils… they were made to torment men- I smirked. "You didn't even introduce yourself, now that I think of it?" I just remember some lore about the first step to exorcising devils requiring their names…

"My! That was impolite of me! Your emotional cries filled me with such deep lust I even forgot to name myself!" Not an ounce of shame, no. I could swear she was enjoying herself there. Enjoying herself way too much.

"I was crying in pain, my ankle hurt. It still hurts!" I tried to deadpan through gritted teeth but it only aggravated my pain.

Sins or no sins, I refuse to lose Asuna over this demon-devil nonsense! This is just ridiculous!

Then a beeping sound came from her person, and she pulled a phone from her cleavage, the device beeping until she checked it. With a chuckle, she just clicked it shut and looked at me. " Ara, looks like fun times are over!" There was a note of disappointment in her voice, even if the rest of it was still too damn cheerful. "Well, seeing as I did my part of the contract, It's only fair I get my share from it too."

Her share- I felt as if a deep, freezing cold took me over, spreading from the pits of my stomach to the rest of me. Don't devils take souls as payment?

"Since I stayed for quite a while, its 6000 Yen for the help!"

...What?

By the looks on Asuna and Sugu, they were no less surprised than I was.

* * *

 **Author Notes:** I owe neither SAO nor Highschool DxD, and don't profit from this story. This was Originally intended as Oneshot but ended up better then anticipated, so will likely get updates. At some point... It also my experiment on trying to write first person POV story. Special thanks to Mu-Sensei for Beta reading and polishing the spark of an idea into this brightly burning flame.

It may not have been obvious, but Kirito ended up summoning Akeno Himejima as devil, by a contract he picked up. Akeno is a natural sadist, and enjoys 'forbidden romance' as a concept. She also a merciless tease (and mercilessly cruel to enemies in battle, but its not relevant here).

Kirito, knows nothing of the supernatural, thus providing a 'muggle' view into the DxD side of it. Reviews, comments and criticism welcome.


End file.
